It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
