He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He shit in the fireplace
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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