I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
