He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
