I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
