I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
