so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
i out mim tonsoeep
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