brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
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