That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize