ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
