Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
is that a dick in a sweater?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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