Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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