It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
