Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
What a dumb baby whore.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize