I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
