Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
