So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
