No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize