he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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