also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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