I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Randomize
