oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
