I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I can tuck mytits in my pants
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
