No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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