What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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