My hair reeks of homosexuality.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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