I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
