Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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