Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
