Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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