I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
