Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
