Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
