my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
It was confusing and full of hummus
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
