Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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