Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
