whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
love makes seman taste better
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
