I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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