if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
