AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
