the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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