Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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