no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
