one might say we're banned from that church
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
