everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
