The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
