I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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