You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
