you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
