Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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