Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
