There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
