she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
