The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
