U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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