i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
