hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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