He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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