Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Everything about him screamed your future.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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