I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
