u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
