what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
