We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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