Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Welp...herpes.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
