Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
